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You did it all right—you packed a hearty, healthy lunch for your kiddo, maybe even added in a little something fun. But when you go to wash their lunchbox after school, it’s basically full. It’s a reality many parents are faced with: the un-eaten lunch. So, what do you do?
Signs Your Kid Isn’t Eating Their Lunch
Beyond the obvious (a full lunchbox), one sign your child isn’t eating their lunch is a lot of post-school snacking. Even if your kiddo’s lunchbox comes back empty, pediatrician Dr. Krupa Playforth reminds us that kids frequently throw away some of the food in their lunch. The best way to figure out if they’re eating at school is to ask them! Additionally, you can check in with their teacher.
Why Your Child Might Not Be Eating Their Lunch
There are many reasons why this could be happening. Let’s explore.If your child is experiencing this, talk to them and work together to find a solution. While “having safe foods in the lunchbox is important, and encouraging kids to expand their palates and try new things is a good general goal,” Dr. Playforth says, “school lunch may not be the time to fight that battle.”
1. They ran out of time.
“While some kids are slow eaters,” Dr. Playforth explains, “others are talkers and are distracted by their friends.” When kids are allowed to play after they eat, they may decide to rush through lunch to go play, which makes sense for them. “This one is hard to tackle,” she notes. “Talk to your child about what the obstacles are, and talk to the school to see if there are ways to help kids.”
2. You packed too much.
This is a normal instinct because, as a parent, of course you don’t want them to be hungry. However, as Dr. Playforth shares, “If portion sizes are overwhelming, your child might be intimidated.” This may be a trial-and-error thing as you learn to recognize what are appropriate portion sizes for your child and set your expectations accordingly.
3. They’re simply not hungry.
If lunch hour at school is early in the day, this can happen. “For these kids,” Dr. Playforth admits, “trying to make sure they have a hearty breakfast and a substantial snack later in the day is often the only solution.” The truth is, if they are not hungry, but they continue to grow and thrive, they are getting enough. Plus, she says, parents should be honoring the fact that our kids are listening to their bodies.
4. They do not like what they have been given or they are embarrassed.
If your child is experiencing this, talk to them and work together to find a solution. While “having safe foods in the lunchbox is important, and encouraging kids to expand their palates and try new things is a good general goal,” Dr. Playforth says, “school lunch may not be the time to fight that battle.”
5. They’re overstimulated or anxious.
Some kids are anxious about eating in front of others, while others are simply overstimulated by everything going on at school. If your child is facing these obstacles, work together on finding strategies to manage their anxiety, or talk to the teacher about ways to troubleshoot.
6. They’re experiencing body image concerns.
If your child has body image issues, they may not be forthcoming about why they aren’t eating. “This is a very hard issue to tackle,” Dr. Playforth explains, “and much will be related to how you speak with your child in general.” If you are concerned about these types of issues, speak with your pediatrician and make a plan.
7. They couldn’t open the packages.
For younger kids, the struggle may be opening certain containers. Work on these skills at home and, while you do this, try to use containers that are easy for them to access and prepare foods that will make eating easy (and enjoyable!).
What if your kid is opting for food other than their lunch?
If you learn that your child is trading food with friends or opting to buy lunch at school versus eating what you’ve packed, talk with them and try to understand why this is happening. Maybe they don’t like what’s in their lunch, maybe they feel pressured by their friends. If you approach the conversation in a non-judgement, curious way, you can find the right solution together. If they are swapping lunches, for example, explain why this might not be a safe option, or one that the school would approve of.
A great solution for these kinds of challenges is to have your kid help you make their lunch, to ensure there are (healthy) options in there that they’re more likely to eat. Add a surprise for them in there once in a while, too (a fun snack, a note, etc.)! “Try to find compromises that accommodate your child’s preferences,” Dr. Playforth suggests, “while still ensuring that they eat mostly what you’re providing.” If all their friends are buying lunch and they feel left out, maybe you can let them buy lunch once a week as a compromise. Remember: “Lunch is an important meal from a nutritional standpoint, but the truth is in school the social element is still important as well,” says Dr. Playforth.
For kids (and parents), no matter how much you plan, every day is different. The truth is, lunchboxes may be full one day, and empty the next. But if you’re opening full lunchboxes after school consistently, there are many actions you can take, on your own, or in partnership with your kiddo, to ensure they are getting what they need and feeling both seen and full!