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Parenting can feel joyous and wonderful, but it can also feel overwhelming and isolating. Many of us are balancing work, caregiving, and household responsibilities, while also often silently holding the emotional weight that comes with parenting. We hear the phrase “it takes a village,” but for many, that kind of support can feel out of reach. Let’s talk about why that is, what a modern village might look like, and how we can begin to build one.
What does it mean to have a “village”?
We live in a culture of comparison, where many of us imagine a picture-perfect network of support surrounding us at all times. But as renowned clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside Dr. Becky Kennedy says, “A village is anyone who helps you feel less alone in parenting.”
It’s the mom friend you text after a tough bedtime to say you lost your cool big time, and who quickly reminds you that you’re doing your best. The partner who sees you struggling and says, “Go take a nap, I’ve got this.” The group chat where you vent your anxieties and share your frustrations. It’s the people who remind you that you’re human and make you feel seen.
“What’s so important is that parents have spaces where they feel supported instead of judged,” Dr. Becky reminds us.
Kids Benefit from a Village, Too
“Studies consistently show that parents with stronger social support experience lower stress, less anxiety and depression, and greater confidence in parenting,” Dr. Becky shares. And when caregivers feel more supported, children benefit too.
“When parents feel alone, overwhelmed, and constantly evaluated, it becomes harder to access the calm, sturdy leadership our kids need from us.” Through stronger relationships, greater emotional security, and better mental health outcomes overall, the whole family benefits from support.
Kids also thrive when they have multiple trusted adults in their lives. “Research shows that even one additional stable, caring adult relationship can be deeply protective for a child’s mental health and resilience.” Dr. Becky says this can be a coach, aunt, teacher, neighbor, or grandparent.
These relationships expand a child’s sense of security and belonging. Kids learn they have multiple people to turn to and that they’re part of a larger community. Just as connection matters to us as adults, it matters deeply to our children too.
How We Find Our Village
Sometimes a village starts with just one person—or just one “yes.” Texting that parent from your child’s school instead of rushing away at pickup. Saying “yes” when someone offers help, even when your first instinct is to say, “We’re fine.” Joining a group, going to a playdate, showing up consistently enough for familiarity to grow into connection.
That vulnerability is often the hardest part. “Especially in a culture that glorifies independence and self-sufficiency,” Dr. Becky explains. “But connection often starts when someone is willing to go first and say: ‘This is hard. I could really use support.’”
A big part of this is also shifting your mindset around what a village is supposed to look like and letting go of the idea of a perfect support system. Looking for (and accepting) small moments of connection. “Because villages are rarely built overnight,” she says. “They’re built through repeated moments of care, honesty, reciprocity, and presence.”
And support doesn’t only have to mean help with childcare or household tasks. Those things matter enormously, but emotional support matters too. Being able to talk to someone—really talk—without fear of judgment can be foundational for strong mental health and for surviving the hardest moments of parenting.
How to Become Part of Someone Else’s Village
“The beautiful thing is that being part of someone’s village often looks very ordinary,” Dr. Becky says. “It’s texting a parent and saying, ‘I was thinking about you.’ It’s offering to pick up an extra coffee before school drop-off. It’s telling a struggling parent, ‘Your kid is having a hard time, and you’re still a good parent.’” Sometimes it’s just that—helping someone feel a little less alone.
Support doesn’t always mean fixing problems. “A lot of people hesitate to reach out because they think, I don’t have enough time, or I don’t know what to say,” Dr. Becky explains. “But support is often less about fixing and more about witnessing. A simple ‘I see how hard this is’ can be incredibly regulating for another person.”
Her favorite question to ask is: “How can I make life 5% easier for someone today? Not 100% easier. Not perfect. Just 5%.”
Can Social Media Be Part of a Modern Village?
For many parents, online spaces have become part of modern-day community building for better and for worse. “I think social media is complicated for parents because it holds both possibility and pain,” says Dr. Becky. “Passive consumption—scrolling endlessly through curated moments and advice—often leaves parents feeling more disconnected from themselves, not more supported.”
But interactive, supportive spaces can create something meaningful. “When social media works positively for parents, it’s because it creates those moments of connection,” she says. “A parent shares something vulnerable and other parents respond with empathy instead of judgment.”
That’s especially true in forum-based communities like Facebook Groups, including ours (A Fresh Take by Once Upon a Farm), or platforms like Reddit, where parents can exchange experiences in real time and realize they’re not alone in what they’re navigating.
Still, Dr. Becky encourages parents to approach online advice thoughtfully. Online communities can be incredibly validating, but they shouldn’t replace your own instincts or guidance from trusted healthcare providers, especially when it comes to medical or developmental concerns. “Parents don’t just need more information,” she says, “they need places where they can show up honestly and still feel worthy, connected, and supported.”
Finding Support, One Connection at a Time
Parents know that kids need nourishment, but parents need support, too—emotionally, mentally, and in the everyday moments of raising a family. Sometimes that support looks big, but often it’s small: someone checking in, offering to help, listening without judgment, or simply reminding you that you’re not alone.
At Once Upon a Farm, we’re committed to being a parent’s ally and hopefully a small part of their village. We do this by creating products parents can trust, partnering with organizations like Save the Children, and showing up for families with empathy, support, and care through our Care Team, our community spaces, and the conversations we have every day.
How Good Inside and Good Inside Baby Can Support Your Village
“Good Inside is designed to help parents feel supported, informed, and less alone,” Dr. Becky explains. The app offers expert-backed resources and guidance on everything from tantrums and behavior to pregnancy, feeding, sleep, and the emotional transition into parenthood. But it also offers something many parents are missing: community.
The Good Inside community gives parents access to live events, support rooms, and shared spaces where they can connect with other people going through the exact same stage of life.
That combination of practical tools, emotional support, and shared experience helps create a modern kind of village—a place where parents can learn, ask questions, feel understood, and remember they’re not doing this alone.
FAQs
What does a “village” actually mean if I feel like I don’t have one?
As Dr. Becky puts it, “A village is anyone who helps you feel less alone in parenting.” For some parents, that might start with just one person who feels safe to be honest with. From there, it can slowly grow through small, repeated moments of connection.
What if I feel uncomfortable asking for help?
Many parents feel like they should be able to handle everything on their own, even when it feels like too much. But connection often starts right at that edge of discomfort, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. As Dr. Becky says, “Connection often starts when someone is willing to go first and say: ‘This is hard. I could really use support.’”
Does a village have to include childcare or practical help?
While practical support can be incredibly helpful, it’s not the only kind of village. Sometimes the most transformative support is emotional—someone who listens without judgment, someone who says “me too,” or someone who helps you feel less alone in a hard moment. As Dr. Becky reminds us, support is often less about fixing and more about witnessing.
How do I start building a village if I’m starting from scratch?
Start smaller than you think you need to. A village often begins with one simple moment: saying yes to a conversation, texting someone back, or returning to a place where familiarity and comfort start to take shape.
It doesn’t require a big social overhaul. It usually grows through consistency and small openings over time. One connection leads to another, and slowly, support starts to feel more real and accessible.
