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Being a new parent can be as exhilarating as it is anxiety-provoking—and that’s totally normal! You’re embarking on a remarkable journey that comes with many questions, and likely many concerns. To help you address common new parent concerns, we spoke with Dr. Krupa Playforth, aka “The Pediatrician Mom.”
Is my baby eating enough?
It’s very common to be concerned about feeding your baby—how you’re feeding them, what you’re feeding them, how your baby is growing. These are emotionally charged topics! Dr. Playforth notes that “the best way to gauge if a baby is feeding well is to zoom out and look at the big picture.” To do this, she suggests asking yourself the following questions:
- Is my baby gaining weight?
- Is my baby gaining height?
- Is my baby meeting milestones?
- Does my baby seem like they are thriving?
“If the answer to these questions is yes,” she says, “they are getting what they need.” If the answer to any of these questions is no, and you have concerns, contact your pediatrician.
Related Reading: How to Transition From Breast Milk or Formula to Solids
Am I feeding my baby the right way?
This one is simple, Dr. Playforth explains. “As long as your child is getting a range of nutritious options and growing, you’re doing just fine.”
Related Reading: PSA: There’s No Right Way to Feed Your Kids
Is _____ normal?
“When parents ask me this question,” Dr. Playforth shares, “the real questions are what behaviors or changes have led to them asking, and what is their underlying fear.” We have so much access to information online and because, she admits, access to pediatricians can sometimes be challenging, parents can feel pressured to figure things out themselves.
You really never know what you’re going to find online and, as Dr. Playforth reminds us, “there is a wide range of ‘normal’ that does not mean something underlying is wrong.” So, you may become more concerned with the information you find by falling down the internet search rabbit hole. “Finding a pediatrician who is accessible and compassionate and non-judgmental can go a long way to helping you navigate the natural anxieties of being a parent,” she says.
Related Reading: Parent’s Intuition: When to Trust Your Gut
Am I approaching sleep routines correctly?
When it comes to sleep training and sleep routines, it can feel like everyone has an opinion on what’s correct, and many of these opinions are very strong. “The truth is: every child, and every family, is different,” Dr. Playforth assures us. “While we have learned a lot about some of the practices that support healthy sleep (for example, being in a dark, cool room), there is a good deal that varies based on your child’s temperament.”
The “correct” way to approach sleep routines is the way your child needs. “I’m not saying one shouldn’t have boundaries around sleep,” Dr. Playforth continues “or that it is not important to work on teaching skills [that support] healthy sleep.” Those things are important. “But there are many right ways to do this,” she says, “and being absolutist and tied to a single method does not allow you to flex and pivot when needed.”
Related Reading: Daytime Habits for Kids to Promote Better Sleep
What about visitors wanting to see my newborn?
A common concern Dr. Playforth receives from new parents is around visitors, safety, and setting boundaries. “My general advice here is that under 2 months (and especially under 1 month), babies are particularly vulnerable to infection, and if they get sick, they usually need an ER visit and an expensive, stressful work-up,” she says. So, be careful and thoughtful, making decisions ahead of time about who will be around in those first couple months.
Remember, “you reserve the right to change your mind, but having a framework and decision in place before you are emotional and exhausted is helpful,” Dr. Playforth says. Plus, she assures us, you can always blame your pediatrician if you are getting pressure from friends and relatives to visit the baby and you are having trouble setting the boundary.
When should I contact my pediatrician?
“It’s easy to become consumed by anxiety and fixated on the right and wrong way to do things,” Dr. Playforth says. “but it is rare that life is so black-and-white.” If you are concerned, talk to your pediatrician, and if you feel dismissed or don’t feel supported in voicing your concerns, she suggests finding a provider who you click with and who listens to your concerns. “Most pediatricians have seen many different approaches work and can reassure you if you’re concerned,” she says.
As with so much of parenting, there are many right ways to do things. You just need to figure out what works for your child and your family—that will be the right way. And, if you’re ever concerned, remember you’re not alone!
